I love to sleep because it's the only way I get to be both alive and unconscious.

I want to be void of any feelings. Life's so bad. I need someone or something that I can rely on all the time. Sometimes I just feel like randomly breaking down but it's crazy because I have to avoid letting my parents see it. They will immediately jump into conclusions that I am having some problems and constantly come back into my room and check on me and it's really irritating. But I hate to contradict myself that although how much I hate it that they are interfering with my personal time and life, they know me the best. Just by one look, they know whether I am okay or not. Were we all born out to be like this? Hiding our true self and feelings from others even though some have been in our life since birth just because you don't want them to see your weak side or we are just too lazy to explain what is going on. But why are some people that are so important to us be so insensitive to how others feel and just carry on with their freaking life. Why are some people so oblivious of a person's emotions. I know I have been ranting forever but I seriously don't give a flying fuck anymore. It's such a chore studying and what kills the most is that you know that time is running out but you can't freaking make yourself move your fat ass out of the bed and bury your head into books. I want to sleep forever, having a beautiful dream of the playback of my old days. Dance, lower sec days and everything awesome.